singleness

This is something I have been milling on pertaining to life as a single.

Singleness just is.

It is not something to pity someone over. It is just like marriage. It just is what it is. It is a gift just like marriage. I am not in any way swearing off marriage with my whole not-dating-right-nowness. I am simply exploring new territory of life for me. God is allowing me to be blessed in this way right now and it is really a blessing. Comments from people who say, "Don't worry you will find someone", though I appreciate their heart, don't help. It implies that I am not complete. I am fully complete with or without a dude. My purpose, my mission, my goals, my hopes, my dreams are still the same. Don't get me wrong there is a hope for someone, but he will never complete me if he does come along. 

I have been thinking of it this way... Singleness is like having a Vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic... I love my Van. DP. Sometimes I might want a Strawberry Limeade, but Vanilla Dr. Pepper is a great treat too. I think maybe as I continue drinking my Van. DP day after day that I may really be wishing for my Strawberry Limeade and almost feel discontent with the idea of just having Vanilla DP. But I suppose the same is true with those who get to have Strawberry Limeade for a long time. They struggle with wanting to try Grape Limeade or Cherry Limeade, but they have committed to the Strawberry Limeade. So the issue isn't with the Limeades or the DPs it is with our hearts being content in those circumstances. And being content in the fact that I can go to the creator of both the Limeades and the Van. DP and get what I need from his eternal waters.

.... Wow ... I may have taken the analogy too far, but you get the point.

Sleeping Beauty..

Where I get my much needed beauty sleep.

My Life Here.

My Church Family

The Court Yard to my Home

My Home from the Ground 

Our Living Room

The View From our Living Room

the goodness of hope delayed

Isn't it funny how sometimes you are allowed the things you want most and other times are forced to deny yourself...

Okay here is an example...

There was once this guy who was just super fabulous, or I thought he was anyway:) He was SO cute and had A-MAZING character... anyway.... Like any smitten girl I would daydream. I would be hanging out with him in groups and would just wonder how his hand would feel and what his eyes looked like up close when you are really able to gaze into them. I was forced to deny myself those little hopes. But later on he asked me on dates and I was able to experience those things. God had allowed me to experience them.

Now the day is here when I am denying myself once more and seeing God take certain little hopes that I have and not allow them to happen... I want desperately to be overseas and to see friends and family. I even have this little growing hope, though I am perfectly content in my singleness, that one day there would be someone I could team up with and do ministry with, whose heart would be for proclaiming God's love to the nations, who would choose the harder road, who would fear and love God more than anything else in this world. These hopes are delayed. 

I must admit that there is satisfaction in the delayed hope. Because of God's grace I am able to know that He has good plans for me and he will never leave me or forsake me, whether any of these things come to be or not. I may never get to go to the nations, I may never get to see my friends and family and there may never be that someone... and all that is okay. I guess the joy comes from knowing that I can approach God with these things and he hears and he cares and I am able to have this glorious relationship with him and lean on him and that he will sustain me in my weakness and that whether I go overseas or not, He will be proclaimed among the nations. That is a nice feeling.