Cause and Effect.

Life has gotten different out here for me. Things are getting easier in many ways... 

I am making more relationships and connecting with people on deeper levels, moving past culture shock, finding my place in church life and in this world, and reaping the benefits of becoming more responsible and organized. I babysat two adorable children on Friday night just to serve. I had been going through my motives as to why I do things... I was serving out of compulsion... because I wanted control.... I wanted to people please... So Friday night I served, because I wanted to love those people. We had a blast!!! Their mom made them mac and cheese (Which I am glad she did, because I can't make that or popcorn to save my life!!). They ate. The youngest didn't want to eat so he had a smidge of a fit... but later chose self-control. The band come over to practice and he fell asleep on my lap as we were singing praises to Jesus... it was so sweet. Then I remembered I didn't brush his teeth yet and tried to wake him up so we could brush them and he just would NOT wake up... so we skipped brushing his teeth that night. The older one and I played bingo and watched a movie... He was able to brush his teeth and we prayed and he went to bed. THen I got to hang with my friends in the band and laugh until I cried... This is just one of the many blessings God has given me recently. 

Other things have gotten more difficult... more responsibility means more RESPONSIBILITY, the Lord is giving me more to carry, reaping the consequences of having bad self-discipline and learning things that I should have learned growing up-lessons that when learned as an adult are entirely a new ball game. 

God has opened my eyes to this control issue that I have... so dealing with that and seeing how I inflict control on people is frustrating and sad. I really stinks because I can see how ingrained in me it really is. I am constantly seeing new hidden ways I try to control. The good thing is that it makes me reliant on Him on a moment by moment basis. 

I also have been having quite a time with my teeth. I now have to have a root canal!!! I want to cry. Actually I did. They said that if it hurts too much before my root canal then I could just pop in to the office and they could just pull the nerve out!! I just started crying right there in the office.... So now I floss 3 times a day... I don't want this to happen again. 

I like this becoming an adult thing... I feel consequences- Good and bad. I learn from my mistakes and work toward getting good consequences (I also know God bestows though we don't deserve it), but I am referring to the physical. I floss- no cavities. I workout- more muscle. I spend more time in the word- grow closer to him. I work more- I get more money. Cause and Effect. 

February!!!

February was a fun little month...

I started it off beginning a book called "Boundaries" by Cloud/Townsend. God has just used this book in amazing ways in my life recently. He opened my mind and my heart to reveal something that only those closest to you can reveal and it be okay in your heart. He revealed some sin in my life... He revealed my compliant controlling behavior. This means I can neither say NO or hear it. I couldn't respect people's boundaries, because I didn't know people even had any and I certainly didn't have any. I see this being the root of so much sin in my life and the Lord just wanted to reveal to me, in His mercy, my weakness. 

He has been faithful to bring circumstances around for me to use my new boundaries, I am so thankful that I am in a loving community and I can try out boundaries on them and they understand and love me still. I have also realized some apologizing I need to do to people that this has affected.  God is so good and continually reveals His mercy and grace to me. :)

 

I was also able to go to a conference over Valentine's Day!!! It was a mission's conference and I couldn't have spent that weekend in a better place doing anything else!!! It was perfect!! The conference was nestled on the bay in San Francisco. The Lord sure did know what I needed. I was so thankful that I wasn't able to be a poor, pitiful, single that weekend. I was a woman falling deeper in love with her Savior and being reminded that it isn't about location, it is about a RELATIONSHIP with my Lord. He inspired me and led me into areas that he is working that I had no idea about. 

I heard stories from the pastor at FBC SF. FBC SF is right beside the Gay and Lesbian headquarters in SF. I heard about how he had a confession booth at Pride week (a celebration of homosexuality for the gay community) that was like the one out of the book "Blue Like Jazz".  The idea of the confession booth would be for the Christians to apologize to the people who come to the booth for years of mistreatment and unloving behavior. The pastor's homosexual hairdresser said that that was a "beautiful" idea  and that they were certainly going to get beat up for doing this "beautiful" thing, so he and his partner went down there to "protect" the confession booth "because you know how those Christians can be". They were going to protect the Pastor from CHRISTIANS!!! Talk about convicting. 

This month I also tried this... it is a century egg... a chinese friend of mine brought it to work and me and one other girl were the only ones who tried it. I ate about half the amount you see here!!!

Lastly, we started Community Groups last week at Church. Since our church doesn't have Sunday school... this is the way that people connect. We meet at a couple's house and spend time learning from each other for 2 hours. The Lord has already started using this time in my life to bring encouragement and a new perspective. Be in prayer as some in Community Groups are not believers and are seeking out purpose for their lives. Pray that people would continue to cling to the Father and a relationship with him and that this would be their one desire. 

So much has happened in January!!!

Once again life has happened... A member of our church that had a motor-cross accident in the middle of December went to be with the Lord on January 10th. He had been in a coma for about a month. His memorial service was on January 17th. There was a quote from his journal that they used "To know God is to know Life". What makes this statement real and true is to see how this man loved God and loved others and to see how this man overcame obstacles because of Christ. He and his wife had been through so much... He had had a rowdy past and they had gone through 3 late term miscarriages and were in the process of adopting. God had allowed those things to happen and it didn't shake his faith. He continued to love God and Love people, I just hope that I finish as well as he did.

A friend of mine had twins!!!! The Lord has certainly laid his hands on this couple. She is still 19 and has 2 babies to take care of. I certainly could not have done that at 19... or now for that matter. Her and her husband are honoring Christ through their commitment to Him and to their family. I am still amazed at her and I don't think that will go away any time soon.

My friend Yasmin came to visit at the beginning of January. We had such a sweet time together. I love her dearly. We made mugs that had Proverbs 19:21 on them. "Many are the plans in a man's hear, but the Lord's purpose will prevail".  How true in my life- right now especially!! God has certainly not allowed my plans to succeed, but there is joy and hope knowing that his will!!! Yas is in Spain right now reaching college students for Christ. Ahhh the Lord's plans are certainly good for us!!!! 

I also have been working really hard... about 50 hours a week!!! at both Jazz-n-Java and the Animal Hospital. I have put in my application to go overseas this summer, my first choice being Germany. (we will see what God's Plans are though ;D) I am working on language study and working on a speed dating night for Christian singles that are college age :D. I am doing my best to hook up the girls at OCC. I myself am still on my dating sabbatical and enjoying the time to really focus on certain area's of my life and getting my heart prepared for daily life as I walk with Jesus.

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I have just filled out my app. to go overseas this summer!!!! More to ensue...