Cause and Effect.

Life has gotten different out here for me. Things are getting easier in many ways... 

I am making more relationships and connecting with people on deeper levels, moving past culture shock, finding my place in church life and in this world, and reaping the benefits of becoming more responsible and organized. I babysat two adorable children on Friday night just to serve. I had been going through my motives as to why I do things... I was serving out of compulsion... because I wanted control.... I wanted to people please... So Friday night I served, because I wanted to love those people. We had a blast!!! Their mom made them mac and cheese (Which I am glad she did, because I can't make that or popcorn to save my life!!). They ate. The youngest didn't want to eat so he had a smidge of a fit... but later chose self-control. The band come over to practice and he fell asleep on my lap as we were singing praises to Jesus... it was so sweet. Then I remembered I didn't brush his teeth yet and tried to wake him up so we could brush them and he just would NOT wake up... so we skipped brushing his teeth that night. The older one and I played bingo and watched a movie... He was able to brush his teeth and we prayed and he went to bed. THen I got to hang with my friends in the band and laugh until I cried... This is just one of the many blessings God has given me recently. 

Other things have gotten more difficult... more responsibility means more RESPONSIBILITY, the Lord is giving me more to carry, reaping the consequences of having bad self-discipline and learning things that I should have learned growing up-lessons that when learned as an adult are entirely a new ball game. 

God has opened my eyes to this control issue that I have... so dealing with that and seeing how I inflict control on people is frustrating and sad. I really stinks because I can see how ingrained in me it really is. I am constantly seeing new hidden ways I try to control. The good thing is that it makes me reliant on Him on a moment by moment basis. 

I also have been having quite a time with my teeth. I now have to have a root canal!!! I want to cry. Actually I did. They said that if it hurts too much before my root canal then I could just pop in to the office and they could just pull the nerve out!! I just started crying right there in the office.... So now I floss 3 times a day... I don't want this to happen again. 

I like this becoming an adult thing... I feel consequences- Good and bad. I learn from my mistakes and work toward getting good consequences (I also know God bestows though we don't deserve it), but I am referring to the physical. I floss- no cavities. I workout- more muscle. I spend more time in the word- grow closer to him. I work more- I get more money. Cause and Effect. 

February!!!

February was a fun little month...

I started it off beginning a book called "Boundaries" by Cloud/Townsend. God has just used this book in amazing ways in my life recently. He opened my mind and my heart to reveal something that only those closest to you can reveal and it be okay in your heart. He revealed some sin in my life... He revealed my compliant controlling behavior. This means I can neither say NO or hear it. I couldn't respect people's boundaries, because I didn't know people even had any and I certainly didn't have any. I see this being the root of so much sin in my life and the Lord just wanted to reveal to me, in His mercy, my weakness. 

He has been faithful to bring circumstances around for me to use my new boundaries, I am so thankful that I am in a loving community and I can try out boundaries on them and they understand and love me still. I have also realized some apologizing I need to do to people that this has affected.  God is so good and continually reveals His mercy and grace to me. :)

 

I was also able to go to a conference over Valentine's Day!!! It was a mission's conference and I couldn't have spent that weekend in a better place doing anything else!!! It was perfect!! The conference was nestled on the bay in San Francisco. The Lord sure did know what I needed. I was so thankful that I wasn't able to be a poor, pitiful, single that weekend. I was a woman falling deeper in love with her Savior and being reminded that it isn't about location, it is about a RELATIONSHIP with my Lord. He inspired me and led me into areas that he is working that I had no idea about. 

I heard stories from the pastor at FBC SF. FBC SF is right beside the Gay and Lesbian headquarters in SF. I heard about how he had a confession booth at Pride week (a celebration of homosexuality for the gay community) that was like the one out of the book "Blue Like Jazz".  The idea of the confession booth would be for the Christians to apologize to the people who come to the booth for years of mistreatment and unloving behavior. The pastor's homosexual hairdresser said that that was a "beautiful" idea  and that they were certainly going to get beat up for doing this "beautiful" thing, so he and his partner went down there to "protect" the confession booth "because you know how those Christians can be". They were going to protect the Pastor from CHRISTIANS!!! Talk about convicting. 

This month I also tried this... it is a century egg... a chinese friend of mine brought it to work and me and one other girl were the only ones who tried it. I ate about half the amount you see here!!!

Lastly, we started Community Groups last week at Church. Since our church doesn't have Sunday school... this is the way that people connect. We meet at a couple's house and spend time learning from each other for 2 hours. The Lord has already started using this time in my life to bring encouragement and a new perspective. Be in prayer as some in Community Groups are not believers and are seeking out purpose for their lives. Pray that people would continue to cling to the Father and a relationship with him and that this would be their one desire. 

So much has happened in January!!!

Once again life has happened... A member of our church that had a motor-cross accident in the middle of December went to be with the Lord on January 10th. He had been in a coma for about a month. His memorial service was on January 17th. There was a quote from his journal that they used "To know God is to know Life". What makes this statement real and true is to see how this man loved God and loved others and to see how this man overcame obstacles because of Christ. He and his wife had been through so much... He had had a rowdy past and they had gone through 3 late term miscarriages and were in the process of adopting. God had allowed those things to happen and it didn't shake his faith. He continued to love God and Love people, I just hope that I finish as well as he did.

A friend of mine had twins!!!! The Lord has certainly laid his hands on this couple. She is still 19 and has 2 babies to take care of. I certainly could not have done that at 19... or now for that matter. Her and her husband are honoring Christ through their commitment to Him and to their family. I am still amazed at her and I don't think that will go away any time soon.

My friend Yasmin came to visit at the beginning of January. We had such a sweet time together. I love her dearly. We made mugs that had Proverbs 19:21 on them. "Many are the plans in a man's hear, but the Lord's purpose will prevail".  How true in my life- right now especially!! God has certainly not allowed my plans to succeed, but there is joy and hope knowing that his will!!! Yas is in Spain right now reaching college students for Christ. Ahhh the Lord's plans are certainly good for us!!!! 

I also have been working really hard... about 50 hours a week!!! at both Jazz-n-Java and the Animal Hospital. I have put in my application to go overseas this summer, my first choice being Germany. (we will see what God's Plans are though ;D) I am working on language study and working on a speed dating night for Christian singles that are college age :D. I am doing my best to hook up the girls at OCC. I myself am still on my dating sabbatical and enjoying the time to really focus on certain area's of my life and getting my heart prepared for daily life as I walk with Jesus.

New Post

I have just filled out my app. to go overseas this summer!!!! More to ensue... 

Christmas

God certainly blessed me with a fabulous Christmas. This was the first Christmas away from family. Father did not let his child suffer though. He was such a comfort and brought people to comfort me. I spent Christmas Eve with Cody's family. He dates my friend Cassie. They were all fun and loud. They are a family of musicians and I loved hearing them jam. It reminded me of college, we just needed a hookah. :) We read Luke 2 and ate some Jesus birthday cake. That night I spent the night with Cassie... her parents had gifts out for us to open... We each got a set of pjs. We put them on and stayed up talking about boys and Jesus until 2:30. We got up a 7:30 the next morning and opened our stockings on her parents' bed. Then went to open our Christmas presents. Her father made the biggest breakfast in the world... complete with Waffles, coffee, fresh juice, scrambled eggs, potatoes with cheese and ham and sausage and bacon!!! It was delicious!!!! We watched White Christmas while taking a nap and letting our food settle.... We then got showers and went to see the Curious Case of Benjamin Button... after being depressed we had roast beef sandwiches on texas toast.... Then I left so I could get up the next morning and fall down a mountain!!!

Snowboarding is not like surfing and I stink at it. I went with a friend from work and his friends. We left at 6:30 and after getting half way up the mountain twice and successfully getting up the last time at 1:30 we were able to begin the adventure. I fell so many times... I would fall on my rear and get up just to fall on my face... It was ridiculous!!!!! I ended up hurtin' my wrist. I think it isn't broken. I went snowboarding again with my friend and we looked like we were dancing down the mountain... He was snowboarding backwards to hold me up... I was finally successful in my endeavor to knock us both down... I cried... He was so patient. I have ranked it the 3rd most miserable experience in my life. It may actually come closer to the fifth, but I am an exaggerator. 

All in all it was a blast. 

My Friends

Me and Allison

Me and Amy

Me and Nancy and Dick

Me, Nicole and Yasmin.

Dad's Shop and the McFerran House

This is the truck one of Dad's hands rolled... the police report reads "I was high on meth and rolled it man". He escaped through the back window.... A-mazing.

All of his trucks

The new building.

Keith and Amber's house.

The Happy couple in their new home.

Bo's House

The Front Door.

The Shop. (You can see the deer head on the top of the dozer)

The inside.

The whole thing.

The first picture of them and their new abode.

Thanksgiving Cont.

Amber bright and shiny at 4 am.

It was also Amber's Birthday.

Before the hog hunt!!

Me and my Granny.

Me and my buddy Amber.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was fun and interesting... The first night there I boiled a deer's head in a big vat for my brother. The next day I had dinner with my family, rode horses with my dad, and went hog hunting with my brother and his girlfriend. I got up on Friday to go shopping with mom and sadly missed out on cleaning the deer this year the "I shot". I got to see my aunt and uncle and cousins and an old friend in the hospital. On Saturday I went to Norman to see some friends, I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to, but I had a blast. That night I went to see my friends Amber and Keith. On Sunday I flew back to Riverside.

My Mom, brother, me and my Dad

My brother and his girlfriend, Amber and just a few of their 26 dogs.

Amber and my Granny with me and Bo

My Dad getting Buster ready for me to ride.

The ever-so-rare picture of me and Bo.

Life Lessons

Lesson One: Life is Hard.

I have had a lot of breaking happening lately. One hope, one dream at a time- each comes crashing down. It seems Providence would have huge things happen just to have one lesson learned in my life... If He would just ask, I would do it, so I wouldn't have to learn lessons like this- this being the school of hard knocks. Each brings me back to same place though... each backs up one simple truth: Romans 8: 31-39. I am not exempt. I still suffer (if you call what I go through suffering). Yet nothing- NOT ONE THING can separate us from the love of Christ. That one thing- if nothing else- that one thing I can cling to and put my hope in- everything else is just details.  It is that one thing that makes us who are in Christ victorious. 

I am also thankful for the difficulties- loves lost, dreams smashed, hopes deferred- they are all discipline and though no discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Which basically says, "Ya ain't gittin' your way now 'cause it is the best thing for ya and I love ya too much for you to git ev'rthin' ya want, but later life will be sweeter and better for you if you learn this now". He loves me too much. Ahh that is good to hear. 

Lost Job

So that job at GDC... God saw fit to remove it... they called yesterday at 3 to tell me that they didn't need me. I was basically laid off before I started. Needless to say I was shocked... speechless really. I am living on a really, really tight budget right now and now I don't have any hours at my other job for the next two weeks. I just kept repeating, "It's okay... I'm okay". I was with my pastor's wife cutting 8 million recipes at the time, so I didn't want to break down and cry. She asked if I was just saying if I was okay or if I really was. I decided it was both. I really did think God knew what he was doing, but at the same time I didn't feel that way. I just cried a couple tears and I was okay. God will provide.

This was such a shocker to my system, but looking at it objectively (like I love to do).  This is such a great lesson. I had an opportunity to really trust God. I like those moments. Who wants a life where everything is planned out? I can roll with it. I just recited one of the verses I am memorizing this week... 2 Corinthians 9:8... God is able to abound all grace to us so that in ALL things at ALL times having ALL THAT WE NEED we are able to abound in EVERY GOOD WORK. You know I had already staked a claim in that money that was coming my way... I had plan... good plans... I was going to adopt a World Vision kid and get to advance his kingdom with that as well as a few needed items I needed from a little place called Vicky's;). But you know what... that money was really his and I just wasn't asking Him. I thought I knew what God wanted me to do with that money. They were all my ideas. I learned a valuable lesson and was able to encourage others... God totally has good plans for me... I just need to continue to be faithful in the small things and learn to see that everything is his and he has given me EVERYTHING I NEED FOR ALL THE GOOD WORKS HE HAS FOR ME NOW!! 

My November Guest

My Sorrow, when she's here with me, Thinks these dark days of autumn rain Are beautiful as days can be; She loves the bare, the withered tree; She walks the sodden pasture lane. Her pleasure will not let me stay. She talks and I am fain to list: She's glad the birds are gone away, She's glad her simple worsted grey Is silver now with clinging mist. The desolate, deserted trees, The faded earth, the heavy sky, The beauties she so truly sees, She thinks I have no eye for these, And vexes me for reason why. Not yesterday I learned to know The love of bare November days Before the coming of the snow, But it were vain to tell her so, And they are better for her praise  Robert Frost

More pics from the Baptism

My friend, co-worker and stabilizer Cassie and I!!

Cindy, Cassie and Me!!!

Bruce and Erin!! (Married Couple)

Erika, Gavin, Gabe, and Cooper!!

Cute Gavin!!

More pics of the Baptism.

Cooper pulling Ethan!!!

Tasha and Dane (Darren's wife and boy, who I babysit)

Cooper pulling Bruce!!

Ellie, Keeley, Jordan and Taylor (Darren and Tasha's daughter, who I also babysit)!!!

High school girls and a college girl from our church!

Baptism!!!

We had a baptism at our church and in true California style we had it in a pool.... the hot tub of one to be exact!!! Three guys got baptized. One had been a Christian for 13 years, but had been sprinkled as a baby and wanted to follow the New Testament way and get dunked. The second man, Darren, came to Jesus 6 weeks ago. He has decided that Jesus is the path to God he wants to follow. The next man had only come to Jesus a week before the baptism at a dinner explaining what the Bible said it was to be a Christian. He had been serving in church for 3 years before he came to Jesus!!! I am so thankful for my 2 new brothers in Christ... It is amazing to see Christ change lives... I felt like in the midwest that people hardly ever come to Jesus after college, but here are 2 examples!!!! 

Jazz-n-Java!

So this is the coffee shop at which I am a barista. I love working here and seeing the regulars come in. I know so many people now and see them all over Orangecrest. God really blessed me with this job!! I even had a regular give me some of a special spaghetti sauce that is a family recipe today!!! The music is slow and I think I have heard Jewel more in the past two weeks than I did when I was a 15 year old and had her CD on repeat!! ;O) 

Eric my boss has recently put me in charge of speed dating, which will start up in January!!! I am so excited!!! It will be a great way to meet new people and help them meet others who would be a good match for them!!! Monday I am going to start working full time at Global Direct Components a tire, wheel and axle manufacturing company here in Riverside. I will still work Monday and Wednesday nights at Jazz-n-Java when I get off at GDC... well at least until January then I hope to only do the speed dating. I am nervous and excited all at the same time about my new job and schedule... I am memorizing 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 to encourage me that God will see me through all this crazy work schedule. Anyway here are some pics...

This is Jazzmo our mascot!!!

The Fall Conference in Big Bear!!!

I was blessed to go the FDC '08 that the Christian Challenge of USC had a few weeks ago... It was a brilliant time!!! I learned so much from my long term hero Max Barnett!!!  Of course he spoke on scripture memory, quiet times and discipleship!!! It was great!!! I met so many new people and was able to be recharged!!!

Where we met.

My friend Val and I rode up the mountain together!!

We also had beautiful scenery!!

It was nice and cool... 70 degrees during the day and 30 at night. It sure beat the 95 degree heat in Riverside. I spent a nice quiet time with God looking out at this scene while basking on a warm boulder. God and I had a long date at Starbucks when I came back down the mountain. Things changed a bit while I was on that mountain!!! I was introduced to some new ideas of what God could have for me and reminded of things forgotten and was deeply encouraged by the lives of a few people!!!