A new treasure..

I am reading this book, Live Life on Purpose, and it has in some ways described things that I see in my life and pointed out the blind spots. Here are a few of the excerpts I really love and am in the process of chewing on.

"Just because you read your Bible, go to church, throw in a college degree, achieve some impressive accomplishments and raise a good family and shake those all up in a long life, it doesn't mean that out falls a life that counted for the eternal."- pg. 31

"When God tells you to follow Him, He is not obligated to reveal you destination immediately."

-quote from Henry Blackaby pg.32

"If you live without a vision of the glory of God filling the whole earth, you are in danger of serving your own dreams of greatness, as you wait to do the 'next thing' that God tells you. There are too many over-fed, under motivated Christians hiding behind the excuse that God has not spoken to them. They are waiting to hear voices or see dreams-all the while living to make money, to provide for their future, to dress well and have fun."- Floyd McClung

"I was on the wrong path, not because the path was bad, but because God had designed me for another greater journey"

"The status-quo of getting a job, getting married, having 2.5 kids, the picket fence, two cars , going  to church on Sundays (maybe even Wednesday nights), being in a cell group-all of this is considered the normal Christian life in America. It is not bad, but it has little to do with the journey that God is laying out for us to join into. For some, their map is even an old calling from God that the can't let go of. When you learn new facts about the world and new insight into how God is moving, you must be willing to hear a new calling from God and let Him give you a new map."

"To get the pearl of great price, you have to purchase the field. It will cost you something to jump paths. Not because it is a real loss, but because you have stored up treasure in the wrong place and you will have to leave it behind. But the gain our weighs the loss in the end, even if you lose everything, because on the journey your value system will change. Our treasure will change."

"We are on a journey where each step that God directs us toward is going to seem to require greater faith and sacrifice than the last one."

"We are going to see that the people God uses in His journey are not people who have incredible, unwavering faith; so much as they are normal people that are willing to take the next step down the path."

And I am okay with that...

Today I was a sub for Penny, who is still recovering from a few things,  in Kidszone. Kidszone is CHAOS with a more marketable name.  I taught the 4 and 5 year olds with the assurance there would be around 5 and it would be really easy. I prepared my lesson and made my "Celebration Circles" to get ready. I arrived with only half a cup of coffee in me (maybe that is where it all started going wrong) and only two students... THEN more came in two by two... until there were 10... that's right TEN! **bright side: this means more people came to church** There has never been a longer hour in my life, except for maybe those times that I was writing papers in college and felt like I was going to die. This was up there. The little darlings crawled in places I could not even dream of them fitting in, the climbed the unclimbable and did things with stickers and makers that would surprise the most seasoned professional. I couldn't even get through the lesson. I simply caved to games and coloring. When the parents came in the doors I felt like the French on D-Day. I felt so unfeminine. What kind of woman can't take a few kids for an hour and have a blast? I see all these other women doing it. Why can't I be like little Miss Susie Homemaker and be good with kids?

A few reasons I think: 1. I was one of two kids... no experience with the younger species... and believe me they are a species. 2. I like people who at least can behave like humans and not wild monkeys. 3. It was my first try. 4. It could be that God never intended me to have the 5 children I hope to have one day. 

I have decided that it is mainly numbers 1 and 3, closely followed by 2, and I dearly hope I can learn to be able to disprove number 4.

A dear, dear woman from church encouraged me by saying that she too waits at the fence for the parents sometimes. Maybe this was a fluke and I am simply applying one instance to all children. Racism only with kids... Maturatism, Ageism... hmm... there needs to be a word. 

At any rate I have decided to try again... maybe I can learn to handle the little dears better.  

The Compass

Wow... So much has happened this past week. My head is still spinning. I found out Monday that a friend of mine is SURPRISINGLY having twins, Thursday my other friend had her second baby a day early and yesterday a friend of mine lost her baby, she was 5 months along in the pregnancy. She is actually having the baby today.

As I have pondered all these events, I am even more convinced that God is GOD. He gives and he takes away and we feel the blessings and the moments that feel like it couldn't get any worse. Though all this is going on all around us and happening to us, God never changes. He is still good and he is still sovereign. It is in these stretching times that we must grasp on to dear life the TRUTH. Clinging to verses like Romans 5: 3-5, "We rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character and proven character produces hope, This hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." And when we are reaping the consequences of our sin Romans 5: 20, "But where sin multiplied, grace multiplied even more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace will reign through righteousness, resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." God may have brought heavy loads to each woman in her own right, but he has forsaken none of them, on the contrary, he is bringing each closer to himself and, as the song goes, tenderly breaking each one through their respected blessing/trial. 

My heart hurts and rejoices with each one of these women, but it is all for a purpose, God's good and Perfect purpose. I recently read in a book by Claude Hickman entitled Live Life On Purpose. In it he says, "A map is not always bad, but in the journey God will often lead you where there are no roads. You can't entrust your life to maps. The only way to be sure of your course in life is to trust something greater than the maps-a compass." 

V for Vendetta