the goodness of hope delayed

Isn't it funny how sometimes you are allowed the things you want most and other times are forced to deny yourself...

Okay here is an example...

There was once this guy who was just super fabulous, or I thought he was anyway:) He was SO cute and had A-MAZING character... anyway.... Like any smitten girl I would daydream. I would be hanging out with him in groups and would just wonder how his hand would feel and what his eyes looked like up close when you are really able to gaze into them. I was forced to deny myself those little hopes. But later on he asked me on dates and I was able to experience those things. God had allowed me to experience them.

Now the day is here when I am denying myself once more and seeing God take certain little hopes that I have and not allow them to happen... I want desperately to be overseas and to see friends and family. I even have this little growing hope, though I am perfectly content in my singleness, that one day there would be someone I could team up with and do ministry with, whose heart would be for proclaiming God's love to the nations, who would choose the harder road, who would fear and love God more than anything else in this world. These hopes are delayed. 

I must admit that there is satisfaction in the delayed hope. Because of God's grace I am able to know that He has good plans for me and he will never leave me or forsake me, whether any of these things come to be or not. I may never get to go to the nations, I may never get to see my friends and family and there may never be that someone... and all that is okay. I guess the joy comes from knowing that I can approach God with these things and he hears and he cares and I am able to have this glorious relationship with him and lean on him and that he will sustain me in my weakness and that whether I go overseas or not, He will be proclaimed among the nations. That is a nice feeling.